Relationships are a beautiful but difficult part of our lives, but they affect our well-being as much as what we eat and whether we get enough sleep.
So let’s listen to what the experts have to say and aim to improve our friendships, romance, romantic and social relationships in 2025.
1. “Transplant” your friendships
If you’re looking to strengthen your friendships, consider “transplantation,” a strategy that promotes closeness by renewing your relationship with your friends, suggests Marisa G. Franco, psychologist and author of The Platonic.
Ask your friend or colleague to do something together that you have never done before. Accompany you on your activities or take a walk outside of your usual time. A new and different element can revitalize your relationship, and spending time together in different contexts allows you to get to know different sides of each other’s personalities.
2. Dating? Watch out for “yellow flags”.
If you’re dating, you’re used to seeing the “red flags,” but what about the “yellow” ones? Behaviors, that is, behaviors that indicate that you should be careful?
New York Times’ Well columnist Jancee Dunn looked at some of the less obvious “signs” to look out for in a potential romantic partner: Does your date think all of his past partners are crazy? Do those close to you have reservations about your new relationship? It’s not necessarily a deterrent, but it’s still a warning sign to watch out for.
3. Learn to own your emotions
Instead of pointing fingers and blaming the other person for how they make you feel, explain how you feel, encouraging constructive communication between you. The basic formula is, “When Y happens, I feel Xi,” and usually comes an expression of need. So, “You keep looking at your phone while we’re eating!” Instead of saying something like, “I feel lonely when I’m looking at your phone while we’re eating, and I need your undivided attention at the table.”
4. Remove this phrase from your vocabulary
We live in a society that tries to avoid grief tooth and nail, and trying to find the “right words” to help the hurt is not easy. But some statements, especially “everything happens for a reason” – can seem dismissive. David Kessler, author of several books on the subject, who lost his son years ago, says that grief needs to be expressed and accepted. Instead, say you’re sorry or share a fond memory or two. Experts say that your presence has more power than empty words.
5. Embrace the power of “adjunct accounting.”
As we get older, most of us realize that no romantic relationship can provide us with everything we want or need, says family therapist and author Terrence Real. That’s why he recommends that we do a “relationship assessment” from time to time. Ask yourself, “Am I getting enough out of this relationship to make up for what I’m not getting?” After all, grieving and digesting the limits of each other’s human flaws is a key element of long-term intimacy.
6. Don’t let comparison rob you of the joy of sex
Sex therapists and sex professionals spend a lot of time trying to convince people that there is nothing “normal” about intimacy. People are particularly concerned with the frequency of sex and whether they have “typical” sex, says Lori Brotto, a psychologist and professor at the University of British Columbia who authored Better Sex Through Awesomeness. But comparing won’t improve your sex life. The point is: How much are you enjoying the sex you’re having?
7. Have parties for the joy of it
Near the end of his life, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, America’s most famous sex therapist, turned her interest from intimacy to the crisis of loneliness. In his last book published months after his death at the age of 96, Dr. Ruth offered 100 lessons about human connection. One of them? Stop counting how often you organize for others. Take the first step and gather your loved ones around you because it makes you happy, not because you expect others to reciprocate.